Hulk Hogan To Remain As Secretary Of Labor Following His Death
The famed former wrestling star and current Secretary of Labor, Hulk Hogan, has passed away at the age of 71.
Hogan, born Terry Gene Bollea, reportedly suffered cardiac arrest after chasing a “particularly antagonistic” squirrel in his backyard.
Hogan was confirmed as Secretary of Labor in March. The anti-union former wrestler served as a controversial nomination for the Trump administration.
Following his death, the news media ran rampant with speculation as to who would serve as the new Secretary of Labor. There were reports that Trump was “looking into” the viability of nominating the cartoon character Monopoly Man to head the Department of Labor.
However, the Trump administration has put those rumors to rest and announced they’ve decided to stick with what works:
“During his time, in regards to labor secretary, Hulk has done a fantastic job. A terrific job, even. I don’t see why that would change now that he’s dead,” Trump said to reporters during an Oval Office press conference this Thursday.
Trump’s statement was later reaffirmed by White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt:
“The idea that one must be alive to serve as labor secretary is outdated and rooted in reverse racism. I mean, what does the Secretary of Labor even do? Do you know?” Leavitt asked a reporter.
The reporter sat silently.
“Exactly.” Leavitt continued.
Some have been critical of the decision, believing it is part of the Trump administration’s ongoing war with federal agencies. In April, Trump was asked if he was considering disbanding the Department of Labor altogether:
“That’s something we certainly need to look into. Lot of waste, lot of waste. We spend millions, billions, even trillions of dollars on a department for women giving birth. It’s ridiculous. Women can give birth without the help of the government; they’ve been doing it since the dinosaurs were around.” Trump answered.
Whether Hogan can succeed in his role post-mordem is yet to be seen. Nonetheless, his spirit will live on, as evident by his final words:
“I know where they’re keeping the Epstein files.”