Israel-Iran Sign Historic 50-Second Ceasefire

June 24th, 2025, a day that will serve history as a testament to diplomacy, negotiation, and above all else, peace.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Iranian Ayatollah Ali Khamenei announced their historic ceasefire agreement during a surprise joint press conference at the United Nations.

“Today, we gather to celebrate the very necessary and very temporary disbanding of arms and military conflict between our two nations,” stated Prime Minister Netanyahu.

Ayatollah Khamenei then spoke on behalf of his people regarding the grandiosity of the current moment:

“يسعدني أن أعلن، بالتعاون مع رئيس الوزراء، أننا اتفقنا على وقف إطلاق نار غير محدد سيؤدي إلى سلام عظيم لشعبينا.”

It’s unclear what the Ayatollah was trying to say, but it certainly wasn’t English.

The crowd stood in confusion, unsure how to react to the Ayatollah’s incoherent ramblings. Netanyahu relieved the tension by stating “I think what he is trying to say is that we’re very happy to have secured peace,” which resulted in the laughter of the reporters present.

The historic ceasefire was signed before the crowd to officially begin the outlined 50-second agreement between the two nations.

Unfortunately, it appears the ceasefire is already in jeopardy; While Ayatollah Khamenei’s back was turned, Prime Minister Netanyahu took the opportunity to stab him in the shoulder, 18 seconds into the ceasefire. At which point he shouted “I had to, you all saw! He was only seconds away from summoning a nuclear weapon from thin air.”

The Ayatollah, in a barbaric act of aggression, then took to shooting the Prime Minister in the kneecap.

Western leaders and media outlets have been quick to scold the Ayatollah and demand further action be taken to punish Iran’s hostility.

Yet, some scholars and political analysts continue to debate the meaning of the leaders’ actions for the ceasefire.

“We’ve seen a lot of this tit-for-tat trading of military action before, even during a ceasefire. It doesn’t mean that an all-out war will break out. I’m confident that this isolated incident will remain just that, an isolated incident” states John Bromley, a history professor at Cambridge Institute of Technology.

President Donald Trump, who played a large role in brokering the 18-second ceasefire, is reportedly already preparing himself for a Noble Peace Prize nomination:

“Muslim and Jews getting along, that’s gotta be some kind of miracle, I mean come on,” Trump told a Fox News White House correspondent.