Pam Bondi: 'Bribery Does Not Constitute Bribery'
This Tuesday, Attorney General Pam Bondi cleared the confusion surrounding the legality of a recent proposed gift from the royal family of Qatar to President Donald Trump.
Trump is reportedly preparing to accept a 400 million dollar luxury Boeing 747 from Qatar, which will be used as a replacement for Air Force One. The legality of this move has been questioned by politicians and voters from both sides of the aisle. Critics have even suggested the gift may serve as a “bribe” of sorts, and believe it may violate the Emoluments Clause, which prohibits the president from accepting foreign gifts and money without Congress’s permission.
However, those criticisms were quickly put to rest, thanks to a memo signed by Attorney General Pam Bondi, which was later endorsed by the Justice Department’s internal legal advisors.
In the memo, Bondi states:
“The accusations of bribery are simply inaccurate in terms of the law. Just because something is bribery, doesn’t make it bribery. Bribery does not constitute bribery under the law, and there are far more factors that must be considered. Firstly, one must take into account: Is the person accepting the bribe my boss? If so, then it’s not bribery.”
Bondi, who was formerly a lobbyist for the Qatari government, was able to give a unique perspective to the matter at hand.
“I, for one, can vouch on behalf of the Qatari royal family. I’ve received countless gifts from the Qataris, whether it’s earrings, necklaces, or even suitcases of cash, and they’ve never once tried to bribe me. Would someone who wanted to bribe you give tons of gifts? No, of course not. These are kind-hearted, generous, law-abiding people.”
The memo goes on to list under what circumstances a gift would be considered a bribe:
If the recipient is a Democrat or left-leaning individual
If the recipient’s name is Bob Menendez
If the recipient has personally wronged me, Pam Bondi
If the recipient is an ethnic minority, or immigrant on a Student Visa
If the gift is NOT addressed to a member of the Trump administration
If I, Pam Bondi, say so
Historical scholars and constitutional lawyers have expressed gratitude to Bondi for her resolution of the ethical and legal conundrum. They’ve stated that Bondi’s memo “clarified any lingering legal concerns” and should be “used as the conclusive definition of bribery under the law.”
The plane, which started this legal dilemma, is not quite ready to be used as Air Force One and will need to undergo a massive transformation and sweeping clearance check. Some estimates have the cost as high as 1 billion dollars, but President Trump believes it is well worth the price:
“You have to consider, we’ll be receiving a 400 million dollar plane for free, so right there that billion is more like 600 million. Then, when you take into account all the cancer research funding we’ve cut, it’s be more like 25 million for the plane, which is still a huge bargain,” said Trump.
Without Attorney General Bondi’s keen legal insight into the matter, it is uncertain whether the United States would be lucky enough to receive the 400 million dollar plane. The people have already begun to show their appreciation, as “Thank you, Pam Bondi” parades are planned for this weekend in most US cities.