Trump: 'If Bitch Got A Black Eye, Bitch Probably Deserved It'

After a brief hiatus, Elon’s back in the White House.

It appears that the lover’s quarrel between President Donald Trump and Elon Musk has come to an end as they spoke together in the Oval Office before the press.

The divorce reportedly occurred on May 29, when Musk left the Trump administration under “turbulent circumstances.” Most recently, Musk criticized Trump’s “big, beautiful bill,” calling it “a disgusting abomination” on X this Tuesday.

However, it seems Musk has put those criticisms to rest as he reentered the administration, joining Trump during an Oval Office press conference.

Musk, who was previously seen with a black right eye, sported two black eyes in the press conference, while Trump debuted a new purple velvet zebra print suit and hat, along with flashy gold jewelry.

During the conference, Musk was not his usual talkative self and remained quiet, allowing President Trump to address the press’s concerns.

“Bitch will talk when I say bitch can talk. Got it?” Trump told the press after a reporter began questioning Musk.

“Can bitch tell us how he received another black eye?” A reporter from the Washington Post asked Trump.

Trump then motioned to Elon, appearing to give him permission to speak. Musk stated:

“I don’t, uh - I don’t. I fell. X, my son he. I don’t know how-”

“He opened a kitchen cabinet into his eye. Ain’t that right?” Trump interjected.

Musk then nodded in approval of Trump’s statement.

Members of the press then asked Musk about his recent comments criticizing the “big, beautiful bill.”

“I didn’t know what I was, uh, saying. I was being stupid. I’m sorry, my words were foolish and I deeply regret my actions.” Musk stated as a tear rolled down the purplish swollen skin of his left eye.

Trump was quite pleased with Musk’s response, telling the press “If bitch got a black eye, bitch probably deserved it.”

“We’ve got a big, beautiful bill and everyone loves it. It’s going to save us trillions, that’s a lot.” Trump continued.

A reporter took the opportunity to reject Trump’s claim, asking Trump what he thought of the Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget’s estimate that the bill would add 3.1 trillion to the national debt in the coming years. The reporter was then dragged away screaming by three armed guards.

“Anyone else?” Trump asked the remaining reporters.

“Good, now get out of here, I gots to teach bitch hows to treat her man” Trump concluded, ending the press conference.