Trump Just Wishes His Fuhrer Was Alive To See This
“It’s days like this I really miss him,” Trump told a Fox News reporter.
It’s June 14th, 2025, the day of President Donald Trump’s $45 million military parade, but the President reportedly isn’t feeling the festive spirit.
“He loved birthday military parades like this,” Trump said wiping a tear from his eye. “I just know he would’ve loved to see this. Birthdays are just really tough, knowing he’s not here by my side.”
Trump states that he isn’t even sure he’d be having a birthday military parade without his Fuhrer:
“As a child, I always heard about these amazing parades that he would have. Without him, there’d likely be no parade today, and I likely wouldn’t be the person I am today,” he stated.
Reporters quickly attempted to raise the president’s spirits, but alas, he remained somber in mood:
“Normally I’d have Elon with me. He’d do the salute, and that would cheer me up a bit. Now, I don’t even have him. I have no one.”
White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt gave a statement presenting her dissatisfaction with the press:
“You know, I really wish they wouldn’t have brought up the Fuhrer with the President. He was in such a good mood this morning and now he’s all pouty. Do you know how much work went into making today special for him?” She chastised the press.
Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was asked to give his perspective on the president’s mood:
“I think he needs to snap out of it. Sure, Adolf’s gone. I miss him, you miss him, we all do. But we’re keeping his spirit alive with this parade. Once the parade gets going, I think the president will change his mood.” Hegseth stated.
Hegseth is confident the parade with take the president’s mind off his fuhrer’s absence, adding that “we’re planning on attaching a few illegals to the bigger firework rockets. If that doesn’t put a smile on his face, then I’ll personally suck each and every one of your dicks,” he told the group of reporters.
The parade is already in motion, as hundreds show up to line the streets of DC, and Trump administration officials begin passing out free armbands.
One can only hope that the parade will bring happiness to President Trump in his time of need.